My name is Anel, I am a lesbian woman from Kazakhstan. My life in Kazakhstan was torture. I have short hair, and like wearing men’s clothes. People used to stare at me and call me names. It was very stressful to leave the house. It was always a challenge to protect myself and keep myself safe. Being LGBTQI+ is seen as a “foreign phase” in Kazakhstan. There is a quite big queer community now, but most people try and be as heteronormative as possible. It is much safer to conform to societal norms, and women are expected to be very feminine. Kazakh culture is reluctant to accept anything else, and generally people struggle to understand anyone who is different. I faced daily threats because people didn’t like the way I looked. It is difficult for anyone who is LGBTQI+, and if, like me, you don’t fit into gender stereotypes, life is very hard. You live in fear of everything, even your own family.

I came out to my mum in 2016; she said it was not normal, and that I would outgrow it. She took me to see a soothsayer; who predicted I would be married to a man for sure. My mother shared with me that she wants to send me to the USA to study but only if I marry a man and have two children by age 29. Most lesbians in Kazakhstan experience this kind of pressure and manipulation from their families.

I knew I wouldn’t be safe if I stayed in Kazakhstan. It was painful to accept that I couldn’t live my life as I wanted, that I couldn’t be myself. I was constantly stressed. I moved to China to study in 2018, and there I met my girlfriend. She is from Kyrgyzstan. I felt so much happier, but COVID meant we had to return to our home countries, and once the borders were closed, we had to look for somewhere else to be together.

“This country lets you be what you want to be, and people can accept this. It’s so much freer here… It’s so beautiful to me.”

Eventually we found an initiative to be a farmworker in the UK; we applied, we both got accepted, and we arrived in the country in May 2022. However, we were quickly separated again. I was placed on a farm in London, but my girlfriend was sent to work in Scotland. It was heartbreaking. My partner’s farm was awful; she had to endure terrible living conditions, and she wasn’t treated well. Thankfully she was eventually able to transfer to the farm I was working at. It was tough work, but we were so happy to finally be back together. We fell in love with each other all over again!

In July 2022 we went to London Pride. It was amazing. Everyone was so free; everyone was so happy! It was incredible to see so many people there together, as a community, being just what they want to be. People were smiling at us and telling us what a beautiful couple we are! It was unbelievable, and to be honest, even shocking to us. This country lets you be what you want to be, and people can accept this. I don’t feel I am going to be randomly attacked everyday just for being me. It’s so much freer here than where I am from. It’s so beautiful to me.

We applied for asylum in September 2022; in the process I heard from one guy about the possibility of claiming asylum as an LGBTQI+ person. He told me Micro Rainbow could help with accommodation, and then a close friend told me about Rainbow Migration. I got in touch, and they helped us, advising us on what we can do.

In November 2023 I needed to find a new lawyer and I got a call from Zehrah from the legal team at Rainbow Migration. She spoke to me for over 45 minutes and gave a lot of very helpful advice. She told me she will help me prepare for the asylum process and answered all my questions. She was so professional, very easy to talk to, and made me feel comfortable. I liked talking to her, and it made such a difference to have someone really listen to me and offer so much support.

I also spoke to Ayesha, the Legal Service Manager. She contacted me and gave me more information about pro bono lawyers. Then a few weeks later, one of the lawyers got in touch to say they had accepted my case. Zehrah came with me to the first meeting with the lawyer, in December 2023. I was so shocked – it was a very big law firm in central London. I was totally overwhelmed. I am so, so grateful to Rainbow Migration, because without their legal team, I would never have got access to such a big, international law firm. A whole team of four lawyers worked on my case. It was unbelievable, like some miracle happened!

I knew we needed to prepare quickly for the Home Office interviews, and Zehrah and Ayesha were always there for us throughout the process. They oversaw everything, knew exactly what was going on, and were always clear about what we should expect. They were amazing.

“I was granted refugee status in February. It was like a dream come true. It is so frustrating to seek asylum. You feel so alone. You can’t work, you can’t use your skills. You feel useless. You dream of getting status. Once you get it, your life can begin again.”

I had my second interview in January 2024 and was granted refugee status in February. It was like a dream come true. It is so frustrating to seek asylum. You feel so alone. You can’t work, you can’t use your skills. You feel useless. You dream of getting status. Once you get it, your life can begin again. You can’t make excuses anymore. It is such a happy moment, but you also feel a bit weird. I am still processing everything that has happened.

Now I can start thinking about my future. We want to get married and start a family. We want to travel, and maybe even open a business, or start a charity. We really want to help other people. We are hopeful, positive, and optimistic. We are looking forward to living safely and freely as a lesbian couple.

I am so glad we got help from Rainbow Migration. I am still shocked by how much they did for me; I didn’t expect it. I am so, so thankful for everything.